★ BREAKING: CHUCK NORRIS ONCE ROUNDHOUSE KICKED SOMEONE SO HARD THAT HIS FOOT BROKE THE SPEED OF LIGHT ★ SCIENTISTS CONFIRM THE BIG BANG WAS ACTUALLY CHUCK NORRIS' FIRST ROUNDHOUSE KICK ★ ALERT: CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T CHEAT DEATH — HE WINS FAIR AND SQUARE ★ RIP TO THE LEGEND — BUT HONESTLY, DEATH JUST WANTED TO MEET HIM IN PERSON ★ CHUCK NORRIS CAN UNSCRAMBLE AN EGG ★ WHEN CHUCK NORRIS DOES A PUSH-UP, HE ISN'T LIFTING HIMSELF UP, HE'S PUSHING THE EARTH DOWN ★